Awkward Situation Fan Gifts

"The short answer is no. The long answer is noooooooooooooo."

"It's not what you think."

"Trish, this is my mother. Mom, put down the cheese grater."

Rudy, I want you to get to know my pet gerbil. I think I'm catching a cold. He's not good in new situations. I can hear you. This is weird. Don't freak out, Rudy. Trust me, it's all very normal. Want a hand bath? I want a Kleenex. Help.

'I can't play any tunes, it's just used for hiding my farts after dinner.'

'See, I told you my dad would like you.'

Shy Man at Party

Bad Interview Technique

"If you think the first half of this psychological test is intrusive, wait until you're grilled by me mother."

"Don't make eye contact... Don't make eye contact..."

Top Ten Elevator Hits of All Time

"Not wearing deodorant is not what I meant by 'respect the local customs'"

'You were nagging your husband all over the road. I'll need to see your marriage license.'

"Ah guys, before you push any buttons can I just check my calculator?"

"What an awful morning. I left home without my phone."

"Never seen a cow before?"

Fortunately, his training had prepared him to deal with all types of customers.

"This one is really unusual. We have to remove a horseshoe from a guy's naval."

Freak Accident Specialist

'Excuse me, Mr. Pavlik, but that gentleman you called an idiot is here. Should I still say you're not in?'

"So, have you two been doing anything reproductive?"

"Look, I know Estella has a boyfriend. I would never try to break them up. But it's not illegal to text friends...and we're still friends..."

'I hope I'm not intruding...'

"That's not what you told my screener you wanted to talk about."

'Now that's what I call a worthy cause.'

Meeting Melanie's parents suddenly turns awkward.

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: Alumnae News

"Did I just butt-dial my booty call?"

"Undress down to your underwear and have a seat. The optometrist will be in shortly."

An awkward moment during the coronation...

"I could see my mating dance had caught her eye, so I put more energy into it, but I ended up sweaty and out of breath: she lost interest then. . ."

"I walked up to this hot girl with two drinks in my hands, and she turned to me, smiled and said, are you lost, Grandpa? The toilets are back there."

"I can’t chase you today … he’s in one of his moods."

'Check this out Henry, the stripper has arrived.'

'Oh no! I think I left my wallet in the examination room.'