Awkward Practice Spot Lover Gifts

"Singing makes me self-conscious."

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

'I think it's damn unprofessional for a dermatologist to scream 'Yikes' like that.'

"I was a lot happier with the elephant in the room."

You're so beautiful, I can't take my eyes off you, even though there's a fly in my soup doing the backstroke, which is comedy gold!

Bad Interview Technique

"You and your daft inventions."

"If you think the first half of this psychological test is intrusive, wait until you're grilled by me mother."

'Show one more kitten photo,lady and the next time you see me will be on a 'missing' poster!'

"Ignore the screams, sir. I'll get a new fork."

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

'Look. . . for the last time, I'm not playin' 'footsie' with you!'

Baldo's How to Be Uncool: No. 5. Forget how hot the coffee is while you're thinking how cool you look sitting in a coffee shop.

"If that girl sent over a double cappuccino, maybe you should go talk to her!"

Top Ten Elevator Hits of All Time

"Let’s try another one. Jerry blinked, Kate’s giving Jon the finger, and Jess is choking."

When a teen finds out his parents are volunteering in the youth group.

A close encounter of the awkward kind

Spinach Dating.

"Ah guys, before you push any buttons can I just check my calculator?"

Ah-Choo!

'Some things are better left unsaid but I never know what they are until after I've said them.'

Lion Toupee

"Michael. ... That's my sleazeball of an ex-husband's name."

"So, have you two been doing anything reproductive?"

'I don't care how educationally beneficial you guys may thing it is, I am not showing you the girl's video. That's what google's for.'

'I hope I'm not intruding...'

"Look, I know Estella has a boyfriend. I would never try to break them up. But it's not illegal to text friends...and we're still friends..."

'Let's practice lobs again.'

"Gee, I hate gatherings like these! I never know the right thing to say..."

'What would you say about me having my spots enlarged?'

"Don't stare at his massive claw. . . don't stare at his massive claw. . ."

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: Alumnae News

'Your mother is not a good loser is she?'

"We're going to be late for the awkwardly standing around."