Awkward Moment Explorer T-Shirts

"Let's welcome our new member, Bob!" "You, too!" "'You, too'? Idiot!"

Showbiz Awards

'Let's see here... Mr. Stevens... it says you slipped in the tub and hit your head.'

"Oh, ah, sorry!"

"Something romantic, perhaps?"

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

"Don't get the wrong idea about those years in a mental institution. I was employed there."

"It was romantic during dinner, but now it's getting kind of creepy."

'When you asked me over for a home-cooked meal, I assumed you'd be making it.'

When we met, you told me you make a lousy first impression. Well, guess what: You also make a lousy second impression. Actually, my only decent impression is Kirk Douglas. Wanna hear it?

Always an awkward moment when you meet a Dung Beetle...

Would madam like me to send over the sympathy steward?

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

'Eh...our costume party was last Saturday!'

The awkwardness of one's first officeplace fist-bump.

'Don't worry, son. This bed inking incident will be our little secret.'

"Such a cute doggie! And I'll bet you make the cutest poopies too, don't you?"

Waiter does not want to see customer make bubbles in his wine.

"Humiliation is a very important part of the the process, Mr. Keifer."

"Let's start with a couple of glasses of water and if that goes well I'll order two coffees."

"I suppose I should have let a few minutes elapse between declaring my love for you and announcing that I also loved lobster."

"OK, I know that this is borderline inappropriate, but just hear me out ..."

How to Do Small Talk??!!

'Show one more kitten photo,lady and the next time you see me will be on a 'missing' poster!'

"Monsieur has just ordered a vasectomy..."

"Are you blushing?!"

"Good evening, I'm your date. Let me begin by saying I'm sorry I'm late, I'm sorry I'm bald and I'm sorry I'm short."

"Don't make eye-contact, don't make eye-contact..."

"I dooon't know this sooonngg. I'm just heeeere with my daaaaaughter and her frieeeends."

"I'm sensing an awkward presence."

'Look. . . for the last time, I'm not playin' 'footsie' with you!'

Speed Dating Disasters

'By the way Adrian, it unfastens at the front.'

"How embarrassing, I'm literally glued to the television."

"Say these things, don't think them!"