Awkward Encounters Analyst T-Shirts

"This is my friend Estella."

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

"Ma'am, why don't you go ahead of me?" "Um... no thanks. Let's let this gentleman go ahead of us." "Oh, no... you ladies go right ahead!"

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

How to Do Small Talk??!!

Whilst browsing in his local flea market, Jimmy has an awkward encounter with an ex.

'I should warn you, I charge double if you want me to examine both of them, Mrs. Jacobs.'

"How is everything, besides the obvious?"

Turtle Blind dates

'Maybe you need to practice walking.'

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

"I don't believe you can't get close to anyone, Mr Jones. Get back over your own side."

'I've never felt like this on a first date, Tom, you're suffocating me.'

'Hi, I'm Sheldon, and I want to speak to you about perception management!'

Rudy, I went out on a date last night. It was a miserable failure. Sorry. As my employee, you've seen me day in and day out. You know me better than anyone. Rudy, do I, your boss and sole source of income, have some personality flaw? Or did the fault lie with my date. Feel free to speak candidly. Mother.

'...and bring a friend. If you have one...'

The originator of the office birthday party.

"Why, Ed Phillips! I haven't seen you since our divorce!"

"I'm sorry, but I just never know what to do with my hand towels when I get nervous."

'En-counter'

"Just don't be yourself."

'Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.'

"Ah, I'd give it a few minutes, pal. Maybe light a match."

"Goodbye and have a wonderful day!" "Ugh! Don’t tell me what to do, okay!?!"

'You have two of the most beautiful legs in the world. I counted them.'

'Our eyes met across a crowded room, and she called the cops.'

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

"Janet, we have to stop meeting like this. It has become a source of increasing friction in my marriage to Elizabeth."

"Come along now, you've got nothing I haven't seen before."

"So, Carol tells me you're a baby."

'Mom, who are all these people?' 'I invited all the people you've friended on-line.'

"Nice to meet you. And may I just say, I don't feel uncomfortable at all."

'I see you everyday and never talk to you. But I'm making an effort to change for the better, so I won't be standing here tomorrow.'