Awkward Encounters Analyst Mugs

"This is my friend Estella."

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

How to Do Small Talk??!!

"How is everything, besides the obvious?"

'I should warn you, I charge double if you want me to examine both of them, Mrs. Jacobs.'

'Maybe you need to practice walking.'

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

"I don't believe you can't get close to anyone, Mr Jones. Get back over your own side."

'I've never felt like this on a first date, Tom, you're suffocating me.'

'Hi, I'm Sheldon, and I want to speak to you about perception management!'

"I'm sorry, but I just never know what to do with my hand towels when I get nervous."

'...and bring a friend. If you have one...'

The originator of the office birthday party.

"Why, Ed Phillips! I haven't seen you since our divorce!"

'En-counter'

"Just don't be yourself."

'Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.'

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

'Our eyes met across a crowded room, and she called the cops.'

"Janet, we have to stop meeting like this. It has become a source of increasing friction in my marriage to Elizabeth."

'You have two of the most beautiful legs in the world. I counted them.'

"Goodbye and have a wonderful day!" "Ugh! Don’t tell me what to do, okay!?!"

"Ah, I'd give it a few minutes, pal. Maybe light a match."

"Come along now, you've got nothing I haven't seen before."

'Mom, who are all these people?' 'I invited all the people you've friended on-line.'

"So, Carol tells me you're a baby."

"Nice to meet you. And may I just say, I don't feel uncomfortable at all."

'I see you everyday and never talk to you. But I'm making an effort to change for the better, so I won't be standing here tomorrow.'

"Dude, you need a girlfriend."