Awkward Charmers Gifts

'I never know what to do with my hooves at a party.'

I figured that since we were just going out for drinks, I'd invite my friend Randy. Great. It's absolutely not because I'm awkward with women and he's a stud and can give me quiet pointers when you go to the tinkle room. Ladies room. Only the occasional pointer! You're cute.

Colin realised that the date was not going as well as he had hoped.

'I'm now zero for nine in my attempts to breach her outer defenses...'

'Here goes the second bottle of champagne... I think it would be fair of You to tell me what are my chances so I know whether to order another bottle or not...'

What price beauty?

"Marlowe filled the crooked gumshoe full of lead. He watched the smoke from his .38 coil in the air as he… mommy’s behind me, isn’t she?"

Man visits palm reader with 'Doing Anything Tonight?' written on his hands.

"To be honest I'd rather make love not war, but my chat-up lines are terrible."

'I'm not sure I want to see you again, but just in case, I've backed you up on a flash drive.'

'As long as I stand here I'm safe. . . no stress. . . no pressure. . . no need to impress. . . I can just relax and be who I am. . .'

"Ask me anything you want about Water Cress!"

'Aunt Val's pretty cool. . . Kind of hot actually. . . for an older lady.'

Hot pink (and purple) monkey love!

'I hope you'll excuse the pajamas. They save time when people leave.'

Snake Charmer

All dressed up and nowhere to hide.

"Shaving your head takes the guesswork out of going bald."

"Hey, not bad! You sound like a real couple already!"

'You know how they say, no matter how bad you got it, there's always someone worse off? Well I'm that someone.'

What a pear?

'I adore a man of many parts.'

"Statistically speaking, there's got to be at least one woman in there who's looking for the awkward sensitive type."

"Does this mean I have to talk to someone I don't know?"

Send. End.

"I'm not used to communicating face-to-face. Can we conduct this interview via text?"

'It's not you it's me not liking you.'

A shy parish cleric seeking to talk business with a lady

Geek Todd Jones strikes out with his 3000th wiman to take over third place on the all time geek strikeout list.

"This is how I roll, baby."

'How can you possibly be busy washing your hair for the rest of your life???'

'The main thing I like about this place is the complete absence of technology.'

"You know, Estella's pretty cool."

"You'll love Alex. He's got a lovely sense of humour."

'Help out a fellow non-conformist?'