Awkward Charm Gifts

The fountain of puberty

"Thank you! thank you! – That little number was called 'Involuntary Charisma'!"

"How sweet, your hand is trembling."

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

'I do so much better with women when I quit trying to understand them and just repeat what they say to each other.'

"It's a beautiful ring. She'll definitely pause for a moment before saying no."

'Here goes the second bottle of champagne... I think it would be fair of You to tell me what are my chances so I know whether to order another bottle or not...'

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor."

"Tell your date you're a vegetarian before he orders that expensive gourmet dinner."

"Your being boring, stuffy and predictable is part of your charm."

"Ask me anything you want about Water Cress!"

'As long as I stand here I'm safe. . . no stress. . . no pressure. . . no need to impress. . . I can just relax and be who I am. . .'

'I'm not sure I want to see you again, but just in case, I've backed you up on a flash drive.'

We've been dating for about 30 minutes, so things are still going well. Please send over the waiter immediately, before everything goes down the toilet. Menu.

"To be honest I'd rather make love not war, but my chat-up lines are terrible."

"Only one Valentines card? Still could have been a lot worse!"

'Aunt Val's pretty cool. . . Kind of hot actually. . . for an older lady.'

'I hope you'll excuse the pajamas. They save time when people leave.'

Nethead strip: Dates

Good Luck

'You two will have lots in common - you share the same anxiety neurosis.'

"Your eyes are like limpid pools. Allergies hitting you pretty bad, huh?"

Dr Atkins on a date: 'Why does he keep looking at me like I'm a piece of meat?'

"So what the heck am I? Chopped liver?"

What a pear?

"Statistically speaking, there's got to be at least one woman in there who's looking for the awkward sensitive type."

"Hey, not bad! You sound like a real couple already!"

All dressed up and nowhere to hide.

'I never know what to do with my hooves at a party.'

"You know, Estella's pretty cool."

"I thought you said his name was Mr Know-it-all?"

Things you don't want to hear on a blind date.

Geek Todd Jones strikes out with his 3000th wiman to take over third place on the all time geek strikeout list.