Award-winning Attorney Gifts

'Nobody seems to bother me anymore since I won this.'

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

'If corporate lawyers are a dime a dozen, where are the other ten?'

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

'There they go - off on their own - and a finer bunch of fledgelings one couldn't ask.'

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

'Hello, Acme signs? This is the Berger & Coles Law Office...'

I love Lawyers

Cat and dog at a will reading.

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

What do you mean, "Did I try anything funny?"

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"Hey, I'm just playing devil's avocado!"

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'