Award Show Skeptic Pillows

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

The Oscars - Sick Bucket

'I couldn't think of a science fair project so I just re-invented the wheel.'

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

'So no animals were harmed in that movie...but how about the audience?!'

Alternative Medicine

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

'Einstein's theory of negativity'

You're on, caller. What's your problem?! The Oscars were so very, very boring. You decided to sit in front of your tv for four hours watching rich people give themselves awards. YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE ENTERTAINED, LOSER! They're coming out with a new show called "Watching Celebrities Cash Their Checks." You'd probably enjoy that. Get professionally berated at asksadie@rudypark.com.

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

"If they de-regulate this place, we wouldn't have to do all those boring scientific tests."

The Academy began to regret awarding the Oscar to Destructo.

"What I like about intelligent design is that it explains everything will proving nothing."

Two plus two equals five. I don't think so. The earth is flat, or maybe it's shaped like a fish. Huh? Many Republican candidates don't believe in evolution!!! Math, science -- who needs 'em really. That's what I said in high school.

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

Hades Movie Awards After Show. The dealy sins were all here -- They love walking the red carpet! Pride won tonight for a leading role and envy won for a supporting role. Wrath was seen yelling at at the paparazzi ... Lust tried to meet beautiful actresses ... and Gluttony rushed off to the buffet. Greed is already counting all the money he'll make because he won an award. And when sloth won, he received the night's biggest ovation ... because he was too lazy to give an acceptance speech!

"I totally meant to do that."

"Solar flares may be a contributing factor or perhaps it's a negative vibe sensitivity...."

'That was the worst performance I've ever seen.'

'It's just a conspiracy by scientists to get funding.'

Science deniers Soc.

"You wanted to miss the Matisse show."

"Recent studies now show that people who use the aphorism ‘whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ have compromised immune systems."

GOP presidental candidates on science!: 'Billions for astrollogers! Zero for astronomers!' s

"Dad just told me a weird stork story. He must be a creationist."

Today's Topic: "Intelligent Design." Do you believe in "intelligent design"? I did until I met you.

Documentation Please

Bad Influence of TV

"The drug has, however, proved more effective than traditional psychoanalysis."

'As we now know, there are no such things as viruses.'

Welcome to the "Ask Sadie" radio hour. You're on, Kenosha. What's your problem?! I'm a grad student pursuing my PhD. in robotics. Under the recent tax plan that passed the House, I'd have to count my tuition waiver as income, even though I never received any actual money. This would put me in a higher tax bracket and I'd have to drop out because I could never afford to pay those taxes. Good riddance, Poindexter. Science is nothing but gobbledygook anyway. Studies have shown that's not the case.

The Scones-Monkey Trial. Dear god-fearing jurors, I make a simple common-sense point: Of course man and monkey are not physically related. Have a look for yourself. Move to strike the example. Too late! They both stink. Hey!

"Delusional scientific elitist..."

"I take it the tortoise wasn't available."