Award Show Skeptic Gifts

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

'I couldn't think of a science fair project so I just re-invented the wheel.'

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

Alternative Medicine

'So no animals were harmed in that movie...but how about the audience?!'

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

"If they de-regulate this place, we wouldn't have to do all those boring scientific tests."

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

"What I like about intelligent design is that it explains everything will proving nothing."

"I totally meant to do that."

"Solar flares may be a contributing factor or perhaps it's a negative vibe sensitivity...."

'It's just a conspiracy by scientists to get funding.'

GOP presidental candidates on science!: 'Billions for astrollogers! Zero for astronomers!' s

"Recent studies now show that people who use the aphorism ‘whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ have compromised immune systems."

"You wanted to miss the Matisse show."

Bad Influence of TV

'That was the worst performance I've ever seen.'

Science deniers Soc.

Documentation Please

"Dad just told me a weird stork story. He must be a creationist."

"The drug has, however, proved more effective than traditional psychoanalysis."

"The news you are about to see is fictitious and is shown merely for its sensational content."

'As we now know, there are no such things as viruses.'

"I take it the tortoise wasn't available."

Institute of the Paranormal: Research Division and Crackpot Division.

"Delusional scientific elitist..."