Reality Show Skeptic Pillows

Crap TV.

'It just doesn't seem right -- a computer-generated reality show.'

'...just a reminder, this really is the news. It's not a movie or one of those reality shows.'

The Apprentice - 'I wonder who'll be first to leave this programme and go upstairs to read a book...'

"This isn't a reality show. . . it's the news."

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

"The moral of the story, honey, is that being a celebrity does not make you a credible children’s book author."

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

"My feeling is that while we should have the deepest respect for reality, we should not let it control our lives."

"Running is great. Unless you compare it with not running."

Virtual Reality Shop. I think our business here will expand as actual reality becomes more and more unbelievable.

"You wanted to miss the Matisse show."

'That was the worst performance I've ever seen.'

Bad Influence of TV

'Usual Saturday night crap.'

'Like the judges, he's turned his chair around to concentrate on the singing.'

"The news you are about to see is fictitious and is shown merely for its sensational content."

Boss: 'Speak up Smythe, I know you've got an opinion, I told you what it was in my email this morning!'

The first meeting.

'From what I've been hearing about it, I'm not sure I want a grip on reality.'

Go To Sleep Britain...

A person is reading another person's thoughts.

Viewer Discretion - Stupid Program.

Warning! The next programme contains no celebrities.

"Podcasts, blech. It's like eavesdropping without the intrigue."

They all have to get down the slide in 2.7 seconds or we lose our funding. In schools soon: The recess aptitude test.

'Lincoln Standardized Test Center - formerly Lincoln High School'

'The doctor from 'daytime television' said I've got gall stones, but I thought I'd better come to you for a second opinion.'

Television repeated repeats Awards

"When Daddy goes by, make sure he can see how bored we are."

"It means this show has been dumbed down to the level of people who couldn't pour water out of a boot, even if the instructions were printed on the heel."

"I just don't get these reality shows!"

'There's a refreshing honesty about this programme, dear.'

"Let me see you fly around the block a few times - then we'll talk business!"

'I've got nothing against those shows. . . I just wish I had an IQ low enough to enjoy them.'