Award Fanatic T-Shirts

'Kind of spooky - every teacher I have wins the Teacher of the Year award.'

"Missing out at the AWARDS was BIG upset to Jim...but luckily his team has rallied around to repair the damage...to his ego!"

Marlon James

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Glastonbury. After.

Showbiz Awards

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

Mardi Gras

'Nothing beats seeing your favourite band play live.'

"We just watched a hypermovie!"

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

Southwark Fair.

Anthropologists discover the earliest known depiction of Jazz Hands.

'Okay, folks, that's a wrap!'

"10th Anniversary Woodstock Reunion'

"It turns out that if you give a hundred monkeys a hundred typewriters, eventually they'll turn out the work of Tarantino."

'I'm sending another scam email requesting money to help free Willy...'

What's an Imax cave?

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

"To save time, I'll just mention the people I’m not thanking."

What's In Her Bag? Coachella Edition!

"Werewolves of London..."

"Of course they're permanent. I'm an artist."

Giant slug attacks a city

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

"Do you think there's ANY possibility that the 76 pints of lager,13 bottles of wine and 12 kilos of chocolate you've had MAY have contributed to you feeling 'a bit under the weather'?"

'Guess what? I won again.'

"Which part are you reading for?"

"Apparently the Ebola virus can make your ears bleed."

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

'My hot-shot assistant was named as one of the top 10 to watch."

"If I knew when this was going to end, it wouldn't be so stressful."

Star Wars Audience

'Huh? Little Airmyn?'