Avocado Enthusiast Gifts

Avocado Timeline

"I've got the Los Angeles office on the line. Does anyone need avocados?"

The Toxic Avocado Critic

Goldilocks and the Three Avocados

"I know, it's not easy being an avocado - you never feel like you're good enough, then BAM, you're past your prime."

"They call him the avocado whisperer. He knows when they are about to turn."

Avocado Prices

"You're what?!"

"So much for going vegan."

Apples for sale

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

Back to work...

Advocado

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

"The more coffee I drink, the more these motivational posters make sense."

Even good cholesterol can develop an unhealthy sports addiction...

"Hey, I'm just playing devil's avocado!"

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

Archimedes, Galileo, Copernicus

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

You've Had Enough!

'Stop cracking and hulling his seeds. He's accustomed to working for his food.'

"No—You're thinking dog years—Editor years are twice as many."

"I'm trying to lure in Generation X-ers. They're the new sandwich generation. They're sandwiched between caring for their kids and caring for their parents. So they drink lots and lots of coffee."

Newton forgets gravity, discovers delicious apple

"I just need help getting the pit out."

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

Mea Maxima Cuppa

"I can't go much longer without your asking why I'm vegan."

"I've decided to make myself another cup of coffee!"

'Thank you for the apple Conrad. But in answer to your question, no, you may not address me as 'Boopsie'.'

"My rise in the company was solely based on convincing management that I was a nerd in high school."

"Well here's my idea: Why don't we try serving better coffee than them?"

Tree Cafe; Free Valet Parking