Avid Tv Watcher Pillows

Paranormal Inactivity

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

Beware of the crafty Kia bird of New Zealand.

'I love it here. It really floats my boat.'

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

Tree house.

Old Lady in shoe driving a footie (sock) car.

"Gifted class, indeed! One is gifted in science, but can't rad - one is fixed in reading, but won't even try math..."

"For most people, the sense of panic will be mild."

This is a great game --- All except for that blimp. It keeps reminding me I've already broken my diet resolution. Pizza. Chips.

"Barb's such a fast reader."

"Mrs. Berg calls my book report a finely crafted debut and she looks forward to my next effort."

'Och lye the news'

"Would you mind adjusting the vibrate on your phone? There's a seismologist on TV claiming there's been an earthquake in our neighborhood."

Please stand by. As stocks soar, our announcer is having a fit of the giggles.

"Scientists confirmed today that everything we know about the structure of the universe is wrongedy-wrong-wrong."

"WIFI, Amazon, credit cards. Pretty much every password is named after me."

"Did you ask for the large print edition?"

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

'Harry! - If you can hear me - what did you do with the remote!?'

"Or we could turn on the TV and let younger, more beautiful people have sex for us."

Incorrect weather forecasts.

Death comes to both the Archbishop and the Salesman in Venice

Self-Improvement, Self-Empowerment, Self-Aggrandizement

"Then we agree. 10 minutes of your news, then 10 minutes of mine."

It's a Dog's life

'I bet this is going to be another round of criminal bashing, isn't it?'

'According to the latest reports, there were no earlier reports.'

"So much for finding intelligent life on this planet."

Dog Training. Most of the choices the dogs made for their book reports are logical. The labrador retriever chose "Catch-22." The terrier, who loves to dig, chose "Journey to the Center of the Earth." The basset hound is doing his on "The Howling." and the shar-pei picked "A Wrinkle in Time." But the dachshund's choice confuses me. Even with the ground-hugging physique, he selected "Wuthering Heights."

TV vs Reading

And here is the day's news that we are going shove down your throat.

"Today, in all aspects of life losses outnumbered gains."