Avid Tv Watcher Pillows

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

Beware of the crafty Kia bird of New Zealand.

Tree house.

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

'I love it here. It really floats my boat.'

Old Lady in shoe driving a footie (sock) car.

"Gifted class, indeed! One is gifted in science, but can't rad - one is fixed in reading, but won't even try math..."

"Mrs. Berg calls my book report a finely crafted debut and she looks forward to my next effort."

"Barb's such a fast reader."

"For most people, the sense of panic will be mild."

'Och lye the news'

"Would you mind adjusting the vibrate on your phone? There's a seismologist on TV claiming there's been an earthquake in our neighborhood."

Please stand by. As stocks soar, our announcer is having a fit of the giggles.

"Scientists confirmed today that everything we know about the structure of the universe is wrongedy-wrong-wrong."

"WIFI, Amazon, credit cards. Pretty much every password is named after me."

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

"Did you ask for the large print edition?"

Death comes to both the Archbishop and the Salesman in Venice

"Or we could turn on the TV and let younger, more beautiful people have sex for us."

Incorrect weather forecasts.

'Harry! - If you can hear me - what did you do with the remote!?'

Self-Improvement, Self-Empowerment, Self-Aggrandizement

It's a Dog's life

"Then we agree. 10 minutes of your news, then 10 minutes of mine."

'I bet this is going to be another round of criminal bashing, isn't it?'

"Today, in all aspects of life losses outnumbered gains."

'According to the latest reports, there were no earlier reports.'

TV vs Reading

'The opinions expressed by Burt are not necessarily those of Ernie.'

"So much for finding intelligent life on this planet."

And here is the day's news that we are going shove down your throat.