Aviation Safety Nerds Gifts

'Dear sir, thank you for your idea of a helicopter ejection-seat, but...'

'Do you have any specific regulations concerning travelling with pets?'

'Please leave the light on, dear. I'm afraid there might be OSHA inspectors under the bed.' 'Managers at Night.'

'Flight simulator'

Giant Monkey sprays the pesty planes with 'fly spray'

'Oops! Sorry! I should've said, 'buckle your seat belts'!'

'Can I ask you what you've had to eat this morning, Sir? . . .Have you evacuated your bowels since then? . . . I'm afraid I'll have to charge you for the additional weight.'

Flights and Coronavirus

The Wright brothers first unsuccessful flight.

"OSHA is going to hear about this!"

"As a courtesy for the inconvenience, please accept a voucher for three additional hours of your life, redeemable upon your death."

Speeding Forklift

A Giant at the Airport.

"What do you mean, 'Who's el ca-pi-tán to Albuquerque'?"

"Two for Bethlehem, I assume you want a Virgin flight."

To prevent geese from flying toward its planes, Jupiter Airlines made some key design changes,

TSA

Flight: Select your spot.

'I feel so much safer with an air marshal on board.'

"Here comes the airplane--once it gets clearance from the tower, which should be in another 45 minutes. Thank you for your patience."

'We better get him out of there! His heart rate and blood pressure are nearing last minute wine-shopper levels!'

'Welcome to crash-test flight 000.Please take your seat.'

Delayed Departure and Late Arrivals

'Look - up in the sky! It's a flock of birds. It's a cloud. It's the Montgolfier brothers.'

With all of the drone traffic, Santa had to replace Rudolph with Randolph the radar-nosed reindeer!

'I am prosecuting you for a breach of article 5 of the explosives act, storing black powder in a dangerous manor on unlicensed premises.'

'Due to budget cuts, all agents will now be equipped with x-ray glasses.'

"Group Five May Now Board"

'Dude! Did you even check if that cloak had a flame retardant, before you bought it?'

'Did they find the black box?'

"Phew! I narrowly avoided a near miss!"

Flight Into Egypt.

Boeing Invents the time machine...

The Muscle in Brussels

BOEING Suspends Flights.