Aviation Safety Nerds Prints

'Dear sir, thank you for your idea of a helicopter ejection-seat, but...'

'Do you have any specific regulations concerning travelling with pets?'

'Please leave the light on, dear. I'm afraid there might be OSHA inspectors under the bed.' 'Managers at Night.'

'Flight simulator'

Giant Monkey sprays the pesty planes with 'fly spray'

'Oops! Sorry! I should've said, 'buckle your seat belts'!'

'Can I ask you what you've had to eat this morning, Sir? . . .Have you evacuated your bowels since then? . . . I'm afraid I'll have to charge you for the additional weight.'

The Wright brothers first unsuccessful flight.

Flights and Coronavirus

"OSHA is going to hear about this!"

"As a courtesy for the inconvenience, please accept a voucher for three additional hours of your life, redeemable upon your death."

Speeding Forklift

A Giant at the Airport.

"What do you mean, 'Who's el ca-pi-tán to Albuquerque'?"

TSA

"Here comes the airplane--once it gets clearance from the tower, which should be in another 45 minutes. Thank you for your patience."

'I feel so much safer with an air marshal on board.'

'We better get him out of there! His heart rate and blood pressure are nearing last minute wine-shopper levels!'

'Look - up in the sky! It's a flock of birds. It's a cloud. It's the Montgolfier brothers.'

'Did they find the black box?'

'Welcome to crash-test flight 000.Please take your seat.'

"Group Five May Now Board"

'Dude! Did you even check if that cloak had a flame retardant, before you bought it?'

'Due to budget cuts, all agents will now be equipped with x-ray glasses.'

Delayed Departure and Late Arrivals

'I am prosecuting you for a breach of article 5 of the explosives act, storing black powder in a dangerous manor on unlicensed premises.'

"Phew! I narrowly avoided a near miss!"

'This? It's carry-on luggage in that it carries ME on and I can fit in the overhead bin.'

"You're telling me we've been following a drone for 20 minutes!?"

Boeing Invents the time machine...