Aviation Clown Gifts

A man in an airplane shoos away geese

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

How are you at decision making?

"This your resumé?" "Yes, it's a list of things I hope you never ask me to do."

"How can you have a meteoric rise to the top in a one-story building?"

'I know my resume makes me seem overtrained, but I really wasn't paying attention.'

'Harold is the brains behind the Smudge-o-Rama mailer.'

Santa knows he has to be more careful. One more accident due to pilot error, and the FAA would take away his pilot's license for good.

Runner going through hurdles.

'The best part is being able to fly without taking off your shoes.'

Drainpipe in a sombrero.

Computer neck.

"RAF Recruitment Waiting Room."

'I started as just another 'yes man', but eventually my talents were recognized and I became a full fledged sycophant.'

"You're always so depressed, Tom."

Cow Pilot.

"There is no air conditioning in the luggage compartment so stand up straight and stop licking your nose!"

'Here comes the in-flight meal.'

"It's an entry-level position, but I was assured it would just be for a few years."

Sit and Deliver

"Can we not fly in a "V"? Victor broke up with me."

'Captain, a passenger says there's a gremlin out on the wing of the plane.'

'Catching lunch again Steward?'

'Do you have any other references besides your mom and Santa Claus?'

'Your resume says that you were previously a waiter. Can I assume that you're comfortable taking orders?'

"A sad incident at LaGuardia Airport today as a depressed 757 landed and burst into tears."

Two birds refuel.

"In the event of a water landing, your seat cushions may be used as flotation devices. And, your tray tables may be used to bash sharks."

"I always end up next to the weirdo!"

Birds talk about flying...we land in the Hudson all the time - no big deal.

'I always ask for a seat in the tail. You never hear of a plane backing into a mountain...'

'I‘ll be relieved when they invent the aeroplane, these long trips are playing havoc with my wings'.

The first in-flight meal: "Care for some soup?"

' ... and that's a policy giving you flight insurance covering mid-air bankruptcies.'

'I went to wash the wheels on that European Airbus A380 by myself. I didn't know it had 22 wheels.'