Avian Impersonator Enthusiast Gifts

So you're a mocking bird...

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"Do me next."

Sign in tree from bird "next appearance 3:00 pm"

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

Bird Torture.

'…and remember - around HERE, ‘talk is CHEEP'.'

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

Wanted For Bird Watching: Reward

"Migration ruins my 10,000 steps."

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."

I no longer migrate. It's easier to just telecommute.

"Yes, go and play, but be careful, there are a few thermals around: make sure you're not lifted too high..."

"Homosapius amorius... the common lovebirds."

'I think he's lonely.'

'There's too many of us... I'm going to start forming a 'W'.'

"We don't observe 'casual Fridays' here."

"I don't actually talk, I just mimic sounds."

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."

Why would birdie need newspaper?

"I'd like a partridge in a pear tree, 2 turtle doves, 3 French hens, 4 calling birds and 7 swans a swimming."

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

Steven had a sneaky suspicion that the local birds were beginning to rely upon here.

Why doesn't birdie go soaring on high like other birds?

"He was into feet, but, unforunately, not duck feet."

"....H....5....N...1...???You got me.... but I'm sure it spells trouble."

No caption (A crash test dummy in the shape of a bird flies toward a window. Other birds dressed as scientists study the experiment from the ground).

Bird about to dive from diving board into birdbath

"Do you think the birds like me?"

"Never Again." (bird sitting on a giant egg).

Birds on a wire, "Bernie?...Oh he's gone cable!"