Avian Apprentice T-Shirts

I don't care if your friend has a flight simulator. You're going to learn to fly on your own.

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

Sign in tree from bird "next appearance 3:00 pm"

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

So you're a mocking bird...

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

'…and remember - around HERE, ‘talk is CHEEP'.'

Bird Torture.

"Migration ruins my 10,000 steps."

Wanted For Bird Watching: Reward

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

I no longer migrate. It's easier to just telecommute.

'You learn how to make dough later. For now, you're on a knead-to-know basis.'

"I'd like a partridge in a pear tree, 2 turtle doves, 3 French hens, 4 calling birds and 7 swans a swimming."

"We don't observe 'casual Fridays' here."

'I think he's lonely.'

Why would birdie need newspaper?

'There's too many of us... I'm going to start forming a 'W'.'

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."

'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'

"Yes, go and play, but be careful, there are a few thermals around: make sure you're not lifted too high..."

"Homosapius amorius... the common lovebirds."

"I don't actually talk, I just mimic sounds."

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

"Tell Mrs. Pomeroy we've found the source of that strange hint of musk."

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

No caption (A crash test dummy in the shape of a bird flies toward a window. Other birds dressed as scientists study the experiment from the ground).

Why doesn't birdie go soaring on high like other birds?

"Do you think the birds like me?"

Steven had a sneaky suspicion that the local birds were beginning to rely upon here.

"Never Again." (bird sitting on a giant egg).