Avant-garde Lover Gifts

Audience Participation

"All pointed objects, madam."

Yoko Ono

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

"Well, yes, it's not what you would call a practical nest, but my wife insisted on using an architect..."

Jazz is Invented

'Projectile painting.'

"We tried 'Baby Mozart,' but he prefers 'Baby John Cage.'"

A Footnote - Self Portrait of Beardsley, Bound to the God of Nature

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

When at a loss for words Colin would often resort to communicating through the medium of contemporary dance.

The Cremaster Cycle

'How can they call it modern art when it's 100 year's old?'

The revolution that hit Hollywood hardest:The Thinking Pictures."

'Isn't that wonderful? We both suffer from intellectual angst!'

'I don't know whether to put it in for the Turner Prize or go for the Poet Laureate.'

The Abstract, The Modernist, The Avant-Guard.

"The audience is really classy tonight, they are throwing quail eggs."

"I'm outside the fancy dress shop...."

Samuel Beckett

"I can deal with the conceptual art and electronic music, but what are these hors d'oeuvres supposed to be."

Metropolitan Art Center current exhibit: Father of the Finger-In-Your-Eye School of Modern Art.

"Please turn on your cell phones."

"Tonight the part normally played by the audience will be played by actors playing the part of the audience."

Richard Wagner's other Ring Cycle.

Artist uses connect-the-dots canvas to paint nude model.

Francis Picabia

"No sitting on the art, ma'am."

Cover Design for the Savoy (No. 8)

'As a hairdresser, I must say you take it a bit far.'

'God, it's a relief to get away from that exhibition of a bit.'

Igor Stravinsky

The Bland Leading the Bland