Avalanche Adviser T-Shirts

"I'm not going to hammer it in. You hammer it in."

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

"Give a man a fish and you feed him for the day. Teach a man to fish and you can charge a consulting fee."

I no longer migrate. It's easier to just telecommute.

'Answer these constituents letters. Tell them to go to hell in a nice way.'

'You brought my slippers?... What kind of rescue dog are you?!'

"Look - I'm cold, you're cold. Why don't we settle down and start a family?"

"Remember, Man of good Sense not here to do work on your behalf. Man of good Sense only here to help you on strategic level until you wise enough to overcome recession."

"I became a mentor because I needed more direction in life."

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."

"I can definitely give you my two cents, Sir – just let me know how you want it: Bitcoin, Paypal, or Venmo."

"At least he's honest about it..."

St Bernard delivering teddy to avalanche victim

"Every single day, guys ask you for advice about women, work, sports... Haven't you ever even heard of the law of supply and demand?. . .I'd be glad to steer the downtrodden and the forlorn your way for a mere 82% of the man-to-man-talk fee."

'Where you went wrong' Desk.

'You've come a long way with your anger this year. In fact, I feel that you are ready to meet a special friend of mine...'

'If you can't afford a media adviser the court will appoint you one.'

"And this is my cousin Dave, who handles the conventional wisdom."

A faulty part from an independent supplier leads to the creation of a multibillion-dollar sports medicine profession.

'It basically boils down to you need to do stuff better.'

Don't forget to read the small print.

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."

"You'll be able to talk to your husband. I have video conferencing."

'I'm making one of the craters into a birdbath.'

"When I want your advice, I'll ask for it... but in an oblique, face-saving way."

'It's just until the election is over, but I'm replacing you with Dick Morris.'

'I told you that roof turbine salesman was too pushy.'

'Here he comes in his jimjams - cutting it fine with out breakfast today!'

"The steering-committee three are we. Run it by us, and we'll see."

"We advised viewer discretion and they all decided not to watch."

"I need advice and you seem to have a level head."