Autumn Comedy Lovers T-Shirts

Leaf duel.

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

Life is for the birds.

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

"They're wearing cameras. How humiliating."

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

"Oh my gosh, honey! Look out!"

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

"I know we just met, but all I got is a twenty-four-hour pass!"

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

Lesser known greek gods,

'Congratulations! You've just downloaded a baby boy.'

'Well,he certainly has his father's nose!'

'What's the big deal about acid rain? Can't we just make alkaline rain to counteract it?'

Too much togetherness can lead to unexpected problems.

Romeo & Juliet & Ron

"Move ten paces, turn, then fire. Ready?" "Dibs on the hat."

Same Day Delivery: "I wish!"

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

"As some of you may have guessed I got yesterday's sunburn factor wrong!"

'This is a fine time to leave! What if the doctor delivers the baby while you're out!'

'I'd like my £2.50 back'

"My dang neck is killin' me again." "That's because you left your dang hanger in your coat. Again."

"Well what does the GPS say?"

How Amazon was invented

A Golden Non-Retriever

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."