Automotive Joke Collector Pillows

Are you going to wax your car, Frank? No --- I don't want to finish something I can't start. (Published originally on November 5, 2007.)

CLEAR!

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

Volkswagen Scandal

World's cheapest car

"Don't you ever run off again to get your oil changed without telling me."

'Oh I could fix it for under fifty bucks, but I just couldn't live with myself knowing that someday you might need a whole new engine.'

'It's a British car. Needs braces.'

'... Yes, that's right. It has had one careful owner and three not so careful owners.'

'You need orthopedic brake shoes.'

All you'd expect in a British car!

"I found your problem. This is a horse."

'Power steering.'

It's got off-street parking for 952 corgi cars'

"Err..Hello?..Wilsons Car Sales? I'm having a little teething trouble with the satellite navigation system"

"It's a hybrid if you think it is. Runs on gas and the power of positive thinking."

'I didn't know these cars had such a large tank.'

'She think we're waiting out here in this sun? Hot-wire this sucker!'

"Clean your wallet, sir?"

"I've just had my panel 5 beaten...."

"..and I've recently had it converted to LGP"

'Oh no, I've been clamped!'

"So tell me about your early years on the road..."

"I got a 'millennial anti-theft device' in my car." "Steering wheel lock?" "Stick shift."

Tin man visits automotive oil change facility.

"Yup, brakes are shot. Lemme check to see if I have any size ten in stock."

"And this model comes with a virtual mother-in-law in the back seat to make it feel authentic."

Electric Car Giving Driver Static.

"It will cost $1,200 to fix that dent...or I could just make an identical dent on the other side for $19.99."

Other decals on cars.

"Your '94 Nissan wants you to know she's fine."

'Automobilia Now: Lemon and Lemonaid.

New Big Three bailout cars?

'This time the auto maker is recalling all the drivers.'

"Clear!"