Automobile Journalist T-Shirts

'Nice smile.'

"Why do they call it rush hour when no one goes anywhere?"

US v.s. Tech Giants

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

"Today stocks hit a new high, just as global doom and gloom hit a new low."

Please stand by. As stocks soar, our announcer is having a fit of the giggles.

Car wash / Mouth wash

'In the belief that no news is good news, today's financial report has been cancelled.'

'Stocks rose on news that '90% of success is just being there.''

August is corporate earnings restatement season.

"If they can rig emissions tests, why can't they fake crash tests too?"

'I today's market news, Greed roared back.'

'Today, stocks rose on the news that the more people have, the more they want.'

I must be losing my grip, he didn't query the bill...

How should I know up or down? All I heard was the FT was 74.95.

A man and woman use oars from within their car.

US economy outperforms Europe.

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

"Apparently it's my fault, somehow, that we have an S.U.V."

"If all countries are in debt, who's got all the money?"

'Today, stocks dropped on the rumor that 'down' is the new 'up'.'

A mom watches as her children get into a large SUV using a staircase.

"Yep, she's gonna cost ya—your microprocessor's shot."

Jewellers - Show her you love her.

Damning report claims that CEO's are overpaid for under-performance.

'But enough about the dollar . . . lets talk about the Chinese Yuan and Indian Rupee . . . '

"Thank goodness for rear-engine cars!"

'Greenspan said today the alert status for possible interest rate changes has been reduced from orange to yellow.'

Morgue for Dot Com Stocks

It started with a giggling sound in the suspension, then a noise in the ventilator, and then...