Automobile Journalist Gifts

'Nice smile.'

"Why do they call it rush hour when no one goes anywhere?"

Coexist. Coexhaust.

"I'd like a new tire for my 1976 Chevy Chevette."

US v.s. Tech Giants

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

Please stand by. As stocks soar, our announcer is having a fit of the giggles.

'Your mother makes a wonderful spoiler.'

"Today stocks hit a new high, just as global doom and gloom hit a new low."

'Stocks shot up. . . no one on the committee could understand a word that Bernanke was saying.'

Car wash / Mouth wash

'Stocks rose on news that '90% of success is just being there.''

'In the belief that no news is good news, today's financial report has been cancelled.'

How should I know up or down? All I heard was the FT was 74.95.

'Today, stocks rose on the news that the more people have, the more they want.'

August is corporate earnings restatement season.

I must be losing my grip, he didn't query the bill...

Jeremy Clarkson.

'I today's market news, Greed roared back.'

"If they can rig emissions tests, why can't they fake crash tests too?"

A man and woman use oars from within their car.

US economy outperforms Europe.

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

"If all countries are in debt, who's got all the money?"

'Today, stocks dropped on the rumor that 'down' is the new 'up'.'

"Apparently it's my fault, somehow, that we have an S.U.V."

Jewellers - Show her you love her.

A mom watches as her children get into a large SUV using a staircase.

"Yep, she's gonna cost ya—your microprocessor's shot."

It says, "In lieu of gifts, please consider a donation to the automaker of your choice." Invite!

'Consumer confidence is up.. in the 'Money in the mattress' sector.'

A Youtube video explained what I've been sensing for years: The auto industry is about to implode. It's going so well. But the average incentive per car is soaring. That means they're trying harder and harder to maintain sales. I saw another video that explains why: More and more people are leasing cars, because the lizard people have put fluoride in the water. Just 'cause one Youtube channel's legit, doesn't mean they all are. NASA's in on it too.

'But enough about the dollar . . . lets talk about the Chinese Yuan and Indian Rupee . . . '

Damning report claims that CEO's are overpaid for under-performance.

'New! - 'Fuel Price Rage' counselor on duty.'