Automobile Fashion Gifts

Good news. Fins are back in.

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

"Why do they call it rush hour when no one goes anywhere?"

Coexist. Coexhaust.

"Somehow, they get exempted from a lot of laws."

Bob's Driving School.

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

'It seats two comfortably.'

Middle-aged guy spots an available convertible. The mating ritual begins.

'I think I've isolated that funny noise you've been having.'

Inflating Boobs.

"We located the hissing noise, Mr. Watkins. Your wife's mother is in the back seat."

Actual Extent Of Doug's Off - Road Adventures (Touching the kerb)

'Never, Ever...drive 56 mph on a 55 mph freeway in a sporty red convertible.'

"Can I talk to someone who knows something?"

"This car is very fast and very expensive. Just how bad is your midlife crisis?"

'You don't have the muscles to buy a muscle car, dear.'

"Especially modified you say..."

"Because you're a mechanic, we're going to do your hydrotherapy in a car pool."

'Your mother makes a wonderful spoiler.'

This Halloween, use props to create a unique jack-o-lanern. Fitness buffs might like a jumping jack. Or you could carve a lumberjack. In colder climates, Jack Frost might be a nice choice. And for something functional, build a jack!

The tinman was hoping his wife liked the new muffler he bought her.

"Perfect."

"We're having a little trouble with our hydraulic lift. I guess my question is, do you still want your muffler replaced?"

Bartlett's Unfamiliar Quotations

Jeremy Clarkson.

"If they can rig emissions tests, why can't they fake crash tests too?"

I must be losing my grip, he didn't query the bill...

I love my motor.

"Remember that, honey? Serious testosterone."

"You're right. I have to come up with a brake of some kind."

'Mom, dad's toasting the new year with the car again!'

No Caption. (A kangaroo with a baby in it's pouch is seen hoping with markings on it's rump reminiscent of family figurines on car rear windshields.)

"I told you not to polish the car too much."