Automobile Addict T-Shirts

'This is the 20th car you've bought this month. So, I've checked you into a car-addiction program.'

'It scored first in everything except the rollover tests...'

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"Let me just check my email, my texts, my missed calls, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, my credit score, my horoscope, the results of this latest personality test, the S. & P., the Dow, the news, this article about cute dogs, and the weather, and then we can go."

Mayhem, Inc. Part 23

'Now I know why the strategy guide warned against entering the 5th stage. Awesome!'

"Pokemon...Pokemon...Pokemon...."

'Of course I stretched first. That's how I hurt myself.'

Fear of news.

'I need a life saving app. I need a life saving app.'

"If you're trying to find yourself, Mr. Ludlow, just ping your phone."

'It's my own fault. I never upgraded my skills. I was replaced by a man half my age with a more advanced smartphone and hundreds of productive apps.'

The Invention of the Wheel

"It's an app that lets me know when I'm bored."

'I can't believe an Alligator stole my identity... I mean, it's quite obvious I'm a Crocodile!'

Swiss Army Phone

"Just to be clear, this is a hike, not a ‘walk.’"

Ski kicker.

Book market

'Gentlemen, invent your engines.'

Sports Memorabilia: Help wanted-losers need not apply.

Addiction to mobile.

The hazards of trying to film a horse jump.

A sailor in his little yacht bobbing on the waves

"Cheer up Skip - worse things happen at sea..."

"No you are not ok! Tell me what's wrong! You've been sitting for two minutes without checking your phone!"

Planet Of The Apps.

"Last chance, or Max here has ways of making you talk."

I need a raise. This is no time to joke. I've been on a buying binge at the iPhone app store and I can't pay my credit card. These apps are worth it. They're life-changing, they're

'Hey, you could get arrested for doing stuff like... Oh, you ARE getting arrested.'

"Joyce Carol Oates seems to have no trouble coming out with book after book."

"What we are looking for is some exciting advertising about our product."

'There must be mining occurring in this mountain.'

Today - Oswald the Human Wonder will Dive 1000 feet into a tea cup. (Lifeguard sitting nearby).

"Do you get the feeling we're being watched?"