Serial Addict T-Shirts

"I'm not interested in the meaning of life...I want to know what's going to happen in my soap"

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

"Excuse me, I'm here to do some sole searching."

"Don't open me, you fool!"

"You'll love this model, sir! You won't have to miss any of the sports action when you go for a beer!"

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

Spooning

It's only a remote, dear...if you want better programs you will need a wand.

'I believe the murderer is in this very room.'

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

'I can't believe an Alligator stole my identity... I mean, it's quite obvious I'm a Crocodile!'

'Anything good on?' TV replies 'No.'

Sports Memorabilia: Help wanted-losers need not apply.

Book market

'Gentlemen, invent your engines.'

"Alright, I'll talk. Just please, stop with the good-cop, ab-cop routine."

Some days Ted's head would get stuck for hours.

'Norbert never mumbles names of other women in his sleep - only foods.'

Reading room

'His idea of healthy living is going to the pub in his tracksuit.'

'Hey, you could get arrested for doing stuff like... Oh, you ARE getting arrested.'

"You're the sport on my telly"

"Last chance, or Max here has ways of making you talk."

"I'm exhausted! I've just binge-watched the entire series of 'Fresh Air and Exercise.'"

'Well I'm telling you we could have a perfectly fine holiday without it!'

The book that will not be denied!

2001: A Space Odyssey - Updated

Wake up love it's time to go to bed!

"Joyce Carol Oates seems to have no trouble coming out with book after book."

'If you're going to stare at that thing all day, at least watch something educational,,, like Japan,'

Our hero rounds the bases to the bathroom, refrigerator, cupboard and slides safely into home!

"What an awful morning. I left home without my phone."

What passes today for 'nose in a book'.