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The book that will not be denied!

Reading room

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

"You're going to have to submit to peer review eventually, Bradshaw!"

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

Television Readers.

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

Audio Books

'Dad's bedtime story was decent, but the special effects were non-existent.'

"Not that I have the time, but I enjoy reading."

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

"International best seller! It's just a squirrel."

"That dream catcher may be working a little too well."

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

"Don't open me, you fool!"

"Oh my God, they're gassing refugees. Look at this family!"

"I'm sad to hear everybody lived happily ever after. That means no sequels to this story."

Toys were me: lessons learned never growing up

"You'll love this model, sir! You won't have to miss any of the sports action when you go for a beer!"

Fyodor Dostoevsky

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

"Now here's a tale that'll make you hair stand on end"

"Goodness! These tomatoes look so good!"

Spooning

Queen says: 'Mirror, mirror, on the wall ... 'It's all so subjective' is not an acceptable answer.'

'I can't believe an Alligator stole my identity... I mean, it's quite obvious I'm a Crocodile!'

Crooked Hillary... Pig... Sad!... Not a Ten!...

'I'm a writer.' - 'What a coincidence, I'm a reader.'

'And all the executive board members got lovely big payouts and lived happily ever after!'

Fairy tale

'So the prince and princess lowered their expectations became savvy consumers, then they lived reasonably contented forever after.'

'Pirate's Cove is about a half mile down the beach.'

'Rapunzel, Rapunzel! Let down your hair extensions.'

Book market