Automated System Navigators Gifts

"To continue, press the 'star' key. If you're thinking to yourself, 'That looks more like an asterisk that a star,' you should lighten up."

The Life of Pi

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

'You know, you can do this all online now.'

'Just in case there is an accident.'

'Face it, you'd be lost without me!'

I cannot tell you why men will not ask for directions

"Look, there's even more buttons and stuff up there."

Number Phobia.

'Apparently Wednesday is early conciliation day.'

'I told you you should have bought a sat nav...!'

'Yes, he's neurotic - It's a common condition with neurologists.'

'While on hold, press #1 for classical music. Press #2 for rock music. Press #3 for country music. Press #4 for...'

"Oh shut up."

"I did a quick search for my lost requirements documents and I found them right away, but how do I get rid of the ads now?"

Pete's trying to groom himself"

Pick a direction.

"Dad, how often have I told you there's no point in trying to start an argument with the sat-nav?"

'A short cut is the longest distance between two points.'

The straw that broke the camels back!

'Kid, you flunked the driving test. But you get high marks in audio system tuning, cell phone fumbling, and GPS fiddling.'

'According to the map, we're about to sail off the end of the earth.'

Swerving and arguning lane

'I'm counting on you to explain to your parents how to view the e-updates on the healthcare plan.'

'Neither MapQuest or Google Earth could give me directions to happiness.'

For centuries, I've trusted my gut. Which one of you talked me into using GPS? Recalculating.

"Are we there yet!"

'Book of Usernames' / 'Book of Baby Names'.

Unsurprisingly, it was auto-correct that introduced evil into the world.

"I miss the challenge of hunting before global positioning systems."

'Please Miss, I know what comes before 8. My school bus!'

Still going in circles. 'Told you so.'

'I said use your toolbar, NOT your crowbar.'

'Hi! We're Jehovah's witnesses and we'd like to talk to you about God.'

He had to update his OS, download an app, get a username, choose a password, log in to a health portal, navigate to messages and write his doctor … by then it was too late.