Automated Menu Challenger Pillows

"You have reached the samaritans. If you are a farmer press one, a pensioner press two, small business owner press three...."

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

'I think I'll go home and eat'

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

'Men order. . . women shop.'

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

"So, you want me to go all the way back to the kitchen just to get you a menu...? Couldn't I just give you a link to our, online menu?!"

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

National Coffee Day

'Well, if you're going to order 'left wings' and I'm going to order 'right,' maybe we should just order burgers instead.'

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

"Just so I’m understanding the menu, the ‘Old Forge wheel with rosemary-infused pancetta’ is essentially a $36 Hot Pocket?"

Mental Health System Breakdown

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

'Physical or Social Science?'

AI

"Ooh, that looks delicious! Does it photograph well?"

"How would you like your soy protein, mixed tocopherols and methylcellulose patty?"

What's the insect de jour?

"How 'local' is the fish?"

A menu with risks and benefits

"I can't have anything that's a food."

'Would you like that organic, locally grown, carbon neutral, fair trade, trans fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free and peanut-free?'

'Today's special is yesterday's left-overs.'

'I'll have the 'All of the above.''

"What would you suggest as a dinner strategy?"

Police Shootings: Searching for justice

'I thought it was your figure you were supposed to be watching !'

"And here you have a brown thing next to something greenish, with some sort of brown runny stuff underneath it."

"I'm trying to decide between water and sunlight."

"It's a cucumber mousse with a mushroom roam, but at least your bill will be substantial."