Automakers Gifts

'The new helium airbag was a mistake.'

'It's a hybrid.'

The first car accident.

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

"I used to love power, but now I'm more interested in mileage."

"I hear you bought a new classic car."

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

"Why do they call it rush hour when no one goes anywhere?"

Man has a picture of a rolls on his garage door...the car inside is very different.

"Do you remember, Peg—are we on our way out or on our way back?"

Another Turning Point in the Industrial Revolution. Ford Motor Co. On second thought, let's put the cars on the conveyor belt.

"What old school? This is my life."

"I'd like a new tire for my 1976 Chevy Chevette."

Doug fights back at soaring gas prices.

"Somehow, they get exempted from a lot of laws."

"As you can hear, it has an engine that purrs ... '

Bob's Driving School.

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

Wow. Totaled. Teen Test Dummy.

"Tell Mrs. Pomeroy we've found the source of that strange hint of musk."

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

"Your tires are spinning and you're stuck."

Is Driving Doomed?

'This is a nice car Mr...did you have it from new?'

'It seats two comfortably.'

Middle-aged guy spots an available convertible. The mating ritual begins.

"You'll do everything...accounting, marketing, manufacturing...with no pay or benefits...and three years from now we'll trade you in for a newer, sexier model."

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

'If you're looking for compensatory materialism on wheels, look no further.'

Inflating Boobs.