Auto Suspension Tinkerer Pillows

"Why is the back of that car higher up than the front?"

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

CLEAR!

"The instructions for the beer-making kit you gave me? Didn't need them -- I figured it out for myself. Drink up."

Organic Soldering.

'Hey, are you like me? Do you hate mowing around trees? ell, then THIS is the machine for you!'

"We located the hissing noise, Mr. Watkins. Your wife's mother is in the back seat."

The Small Business Advisor: 'The first bit of advice I'd give you for your garage start-up is to tell your dad'

"I'd like my daughter to know something about engines."

'Well OF COURSE I rotate the tires! How do you think I got here?'

'My husband thought he could save money by repairing it himself.'

'It's a kit I found online. I converted the car so it runs entirely on chicken manure.'

"I'm glad I don't have to put gas in it. the downside is that it takes a lot of time to put 3,000 AA batteries in it."

Tune up $90. Tinker $20.

'Hi Terry. Quick question about that new gearbox you put in my Polo last week.'

'That book is still floating around the system.'

"Do you realise you're getting addicted to brake fluid?" "Yes, but I can stop anytime."

'I can't come out to play, I have to help my owner work on his bike. Sometimes it sucks being a smart breed.'

"Must've planted those seeds upside down..."

'I wanted a little more speed. I just hope I'm not violating any laws by using a jet engine.'

'I bought this Kit Car off the Internet for $12.93. I guess you get what you pay for.'

"Yep, she's gonna cost ya—your microprocessor's shot."

Quantum Mechanics.

"Well, there's your problem. The strange clanking sound is just Tom Waits in your engine."

'I've been riding small, fast bikes for awhile. I thought it was time to build a bigger motorcycle.'

He spends all weekend under the stupid thing, but I don't think he's really fixing anything.

'Fuel efficient automobiles.'

"Wow! This car has a continental kit, train horn, smoothed-out firewall, polyurethane bushings and a 2400-CFM fan! I have a long way to go!"

'Why can't I park it here? I'm just getting my moneys worth.'

Organ Transplant Service - "Rather ironic isn't it...we need a new pump."

'The new helium airbag was a mistake.'

"When was the last time you started her up?"

'The bass has shattered the windows in all my neigbor's homes. They hate me, but they like my car.'

"Uh...not to be bossy, but I wouldn't do it that way."

'Is this the small engines class?'