Auto Suspension Tinkerer Prints

"Why is the back of that car higher up than the front?"

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

"The instructions for the beer-making kit you gave me? Didn't need them -- I figured it out for myself. Drink up."

CLEAR!

Organic Soldering.

"We located the hissing noise, Mr. Watkins. Your wife's mother is in the back seat."

The Small Business Advisor: 'The first bit of advice I'd give you for your garage start-up is to tell your dad'

'Well OF COURSE I rotate the tires! How do you think I got here?'

"I'd like my daughter to know something about engines."

'My husband thought he could save money by repairing it himself.'

"I'm glad I don't have to put gas in it. the downside is that it takes a lot of time to put 3,000 AA batteries in it."

Tune up $90. Tinker $20.

'That book is still floating around the system.'

"Do you realise you're getting addicted to brake fluid?" "Yes, but I can stop anytime."

'I can't come out to play, I have to help my owner work on his bike. Sometimes it sucks being a smart breed.'

"Must've planted those seeds upside down..."

'I wanted a little more speed. I just hope I'm not violating any laws by using a jet engine.'

'I bought this Kit Car off the Internet for $12.93. I guess you get what you pay for.'

Quantum Mechanics.

"Yep, she's gonna cost ya—your microprocessor's shot."

"Well, there's your problem. The strange clanking sound is just Tom Waits in your engine."

'Fuel efficient automobiles.'

'Why can't I park it here? I'm just getting my moneys worth.'

"Wow! This car has a continental kit, train horn, smoothed-out firewall, polyurethane bushings and a 2400-CFM fan! I have a long way to go!"

'I've been riding small, fast bikes for awhile. I thought it was time to build a bigger motorcycle.'

Organ Transplant Service - "Rather ironic isn't it...we need a new pump."

'The bass has shattered the windows in all my neigbor's homes. They hate me, but they like my car.'

'The new helium airbag was a mistake.'

"When was the last time you started her up?"

"Uh...not to be bossy, but I wouldn't do it that way."

'Is this the small engines class?'

'Well! Well! Look what the cat dragged home!...'