Auto Sales Professional Gifts

"This baby has it all. . . premium leather interior, 17-inch wheels. Touchscreen nav and bluthooth connectivity. Best of all, it comes fully optimized for vertical video."

"The forty thousand dollars includes a rear view mirror!"

Larry's used art

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

"As you can hear, it has an engine that purrs ... '

'I said they're good, but expensive.'

'It seats two comfortably.'

"It's ideal for the man who works close to home."

It's great for pulling the birds!

'Sorry, that was before the fed raised the interest rates.'

Mohammad's motors

"In layman's terms, it's £12,750."

'If you're looking for compensatory materialism on wheels, look no further.'

'God's speed.'

'Do you have any of those cars with 'My Child Is An Honor Student' bumper stickers on them?'

'Those are all highway miles. The previous owner was a pharmaceutical sales rep.'

'It's exactly what I need to drive our only child to school at the end of the road.'

Classic Autos: We have muscle cars for weaklings!

'So, a bailout is like a Ponzi scheme for automakers?'

"An enormous amount of advanced engineering has gone into our latest models. That's not to say, of course, that an enormous amount of advanced engineering hasn't always gone into all our models."

'It's too cheap, can I haggle you up?'

"Perfect."

"This electric car is environmentally friendly and will bring your family closer together."

"This baby gets such horrible miles per gallon, you actually save on gas because nobody can afford to drive it!"

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

"And when the extended warranty kicks in, we send you a big can of new car smell."

"It goes from the factory to us in $29,500."

"Don't mix this up...I want a car with a moonroof. He wants one with a sunroof."

'And here's the toolkit.'

Professor Freely's new alternative fuel source did have its drawbacks.

Volkswagen Scandal

'I need a lot of trunk space.'

'How about a nice saloon?'

The American Nightmare.

"And this model features a nifty, manual back-up device."