Authority Enthusiast Gifts

"I like to keep things simple."

'Your mum and I are thinking about giving your power of attorney...' - 'Yes! Yes! Yes! I'm rich! Rich!' - '...and now, strangely, I'm having second thoughts.'

Power: 'It's mine and you can't have it.'

Bill's new strap-on steer horns helped give him more clout at the office.

"Mom, Dad, this is Kevin, our new ombudsman."

Stop saying 'You're the boss' I KNOW I'm the boss!

'He's really OK, except for the power trips.'

'Wow I'd love to get my staff to do that.'

'There's a car in my parking spot! Torch it!'

"You never want to be taken to see her. Ms. Walker moonlights as a probation officer."

"What's on my schedule today, Fred?"

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

Unto thee shall pass the executive laser pointer. Take this authority and delegate it.

'Tesco's cheif executive meets with staff.'

Dr Ed Henderson demonstrates that it IS possible for someone to become too familiar with the safety rules.

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

'We can't cut entitlements for federal employees. We're federal employees.'

"Greed, wrath, envy and pride closed higher. Lust, sloth and gluttony showed losses."

'Daddy! There's a Politician in my closet!'

'The only exercise I believe in is the exercise of power.'

The court freezes my assets and wants me to live on $20K per month? They want me to starve!

"I've never liked 'im - he's an attention seeker!"

Real Congressional reform's a must.....

"I see, Mr. Pipkins, we're back on the bourbon and smoking through glazed doughnuts."

At last he had found the Regulatory Guidelines.

CONGRESS, 'Okay, so you've been censured -- you've got to get right back in there and start legislating before you lose your nerve!'

'All right. Who's in charge around here?'

Continental marshal

'The only exercise I believe in is the exercise of power.'

Investigate Committee On Why There Are So Many Investigative Committees.

'It's interesting that your great-grandparents came over from Ireland in 1887, but you still don't qualify for foreign aid.'

"To become a department manager you've got to radiate authority and self-confidence! Authority! Self-confidence!!! Got me??!"

'Mr. Speaker! Mr. Speaker! Mr. Speaker. . . He didn't show up for work today.'

"I like things to be done my way but by somebody else."

'Your opinions are a rephrasing of my opinions. I like that in a subordinate.'