Aura Believer T-Shirts

'She's attending a 'confidence empowerment' seminar, to have her aura recharged.'

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

"Ernestine is trying to get St. Patrick to change his mind."

"If I can't ask for more wishes, how about more genies?"

Your enemy is defeated by Fate

"Why did we run out of wine?! I'll tell you why...Mary's son brought 12 of his friends who crashed the wedding party! That's why!"

'Good work pulling the sword from the stone. Now, how 'bout loosening the lid on the magic pickle jar?'

"You're solemates!"

A woman drawing birds makes them fly around the room.

"Might I suggest something wicked for dessert?"

"The Internet startup had only enough cash for one more day. But, miraculously, the money lasted for eight days, until more venture capital could be raised."

'Gee you're lucky! I don't think the Tooth-Fairy will ever bring me anything...'

"Rescue someone; rescue yourself"

"I can't really tell you the future but I'll tell you what's trending on Twitter."

'Take me to your auto body shop.'

'Hey, look. This anti hair loss treatment is finally working. My hair's stopped falling out!'

Dustbin monster.

Fairy Vet

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

'I know it looks silly, but they say his prophecies have regained their old accuracy.'

"Excuse me, do you folks believe in ghosts?"

Guru levitates while wife vacuums.

"Holy water, holy water...."

'Fish and bread? That's it? Seriously?'

"Well I don't know how they fly when I can't!"

An environmentally sound Christmas - Plant a Seedling - Full tree in 16 years.

'He touched you and you can walk again? I just got an illegible prescription.'

'...and then these two-eyed creatures took me from my spaceship to a four-wheeled vehicle. Nobody believes me. But you do, don't you doc?'

'Your life will being when all of your kids are married and the dog dies.'

'Oh, nothing's wrong -- I just expected Earthlings to be taller, that's all.'

"Tia Carmen, can you make Sylvia Sanchez, the prettiest girl in school, look me in the eye and ask about my feelings."

Define gravity! - Next Exit.

'Hurry! There's not a moment to lose.'

"I think it's time you ditched the phoney crown and admitted to yourself that princess or no princess, you'll always be a frog."

"I don't want to sound desperate, but either you transform me with a kiss or I end up dissected in a ninth-grade science lab."