Audience Interaction Gifts

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

"I seem to have forgotten what I was saying...please...hold the applause!"

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

'As I walk through the halls, I see teachers teaching and students learning and I say to myself, 'what wonderful school, what a wonderful world.''

"For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer, a fake knife, and a mirrored box with a secret compartment."

"And lastly, for my infinite perseverance, self-control and fortitude, I'd like to thank the Internet trolls."

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

"This next song is about a trip to Vermont. It's called 'This is the whitest state I've ever seen—wow!'"

Giant screen displays conference delegates and not the speaker.

"This poem was written at a time in my life when I wrote a poem."

"It's a deal, I trade you two of your lunchroom duties if you take my field trip duty?"

Little guy using telescope to see past a big guy blocking his view in the crowd,

"This next song exposes the hypocrisy of everyone here."

'I wish somebody would say something.'

I'm afraid nurse Wilcox can't have a supportive caring chat with you until she's had the appropriate training.

"That concludes my presentation. I'll now open this up for some answers."

"We only shop brick and mortar because my husband likes to be disgruntled face-to-face when returning things."

'I hope he doesn't pick on ME!'

And with that, the simple malaise that had been bubbling up for months officially became a general malaise.

Antiques for Oldies: Squeal Now.

"You missed the garlic. The place went nuts when he added the garlic."

'They say the secret to public speaking is to pick out one person in the audience and talk to him.' 'Well, did you?' 'Yeah. Unfortunately the person I picked out was snickering, pointing and whispering to the guy next to him.'

Public speaking

"Next time, don't start the presentation by asking, 'Can you tolerate ambiguity?'!"

A Concert Audience - A Typical Layout.

"Excuse me, I have to get up for a minute - Do you mind watching my laptop, bag of precious gems, and life savings in cash?"

"Run along and do a face to face with me..."

'Does my bum look big on this'

"Nice ass..."

"Things might run smoother, Johnson, if you take the 'cuss' out of customer."

'I've never been good at public squeaking!'

Trash Test Dummy

"I'm very pleased with the house but you'd think they would have recognised our need for lower fences."