Audience Interaction Gifts

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

"I seem to have forgotten what I was saying...please...hold the applause!"

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

'As I walk through the halls, I see teachers teaching and students learning and I say to myself, 'what wonderful school, what a wonderful world.''

"For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer, a fake knife, and a mirrored box with a secret compartment."

"And lastly, for my infinite perseverance, self-control and fortitude, I'd like to thank the Internet trolls."

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

Giant screen displays conference delegates and not the speaker.

"This next song is about a trip to Vermont. It's called 'This is the whitest state I've ever seen—wow!'"

"This poem was written at a time in my life when I wrote a poem."

"This next song exposes the hypocrisy of everyone here."

Little guy using telescope to see past a big guy blocking his view in the crowd,

"It's a deal, I trade you two of your lunchroom duties if you take my field trip duty?"

Open Mike Night Presents the Comedy Stylings of Rudy Park. Did you hear about the iPhone that hired the best wedding planner in the country because it wanted a great reception? Clap. And then there was the autocorrect programmer who got rejected when he asked a lady out on a debate. The romance didn't last long when the cable tv box found out how spacey the satellite tv box was. Get off the stage! The one who invented binary code was a real zero. Boo. Hiss. I don't even get that one, and I'm gla

'I wish somebody would say something.'

I'm afraid nurse Wilcox can't have a supportive caring chat with you until she's had the appropriate training.

"That concludes my presentation. I'll now open this up for some answers."

"We only shop brick and mortar because my husband likes to be disgruntled face-to-face when returning things."

And with that, the simple malaise that had been bubbling up for months officially became a general malaise.

Intramission

Antiques for Oldies: Squeal Now.

'I hope he doesn't pick on ME!'

"You missed the garlic. The place went nuts when he added the garlic."

'They say the secret to public speaking is to pick out one person in the audience and talk to him.' 'Well, did you?' 'Yeah. Unfortunately the person I picked out was snickering, pointing and whispering to the guy next to him.'

Public speaking

I didn't think I would, but I miss being booed.

"Next time, don't start the presentation by asking, 'Can you tolerate ambiguity?'!"

'Excuse me...are you okay?'

"Excuse me, I have to get up for a minute - Do you mind watching my laptop, bag of precious gems, and life savings in cash?"

A Concert Audience - A Typical Layout.

"Run along and do a face to face with me..."

'Does my bum look big on this'

"Nice ass..."

"Things might run smoother, Johnson, if you take the 'cuss' out of customer."

Trash Test Dummy