Auction Master Gifts

Man on ebay not bothering to bid as he has 'preferred bidder status'.

The president's men

"And for lot 27 we have another old tennis ball."

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

E-Baying @ The Moon

Invisible clothes

Sold! For £42,000 to the... No wait - it's the wrong way round!

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

Auctioneer: 'Sold to the lady whose husband just walked out!'

"So our agreed strategy is to dominate the market and it creeps profits by 670%. Anybody any idea how to do it?"

An early Picasso painting is sold at auction - it is a painting from when Picasso was a child

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

"It's a forgery―and a recent one, too."

"It's called 'Sold'."

"I got it from eBay."

The Derby- Horse Auction at Tattersall's

I think you just paid £5000 for cricket box, not a box at the cricket.

'You bought it - you can lie in it!'

This isn't a good time to see him --- He just got outbid for a soul on eBay. Beelzebub.

Titanic iceberg auction

'Greece is up for auction on eBay - and there's no bidders.'

The Battle of the Pictures.

"I got the cream, but the bulk of the old lady's estate is going to auction."

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

"Let’s run through that scene again with just the table and the lamp."

Moderne Auction Today - This end up!

'Of course, some assembly is required. That's why my bid was so low.'

'Enough EBAY already!'

'Now, what am I bid for this original Ough?'

How much for a blueberry scone? $3.25. I'll give you $1.20. Huh? $1.40. $1.45. It's not negotiable. Shrewd. $1.65. $2.00. $2.10. $2.25, but I want free shipping! Ebay addicts. $3 for your sandwich. $6.

'It sold for how much!'

Leonardo da Vinci painting - $450 million record.

'Actually, I'm here just for the wine and cheese.'

'Now, a real collectable to bid on: a signed first edition of The First History of the World.'