Auction Gifts

Bob auctions off his thoughts.

Monetary Crisis in South - Auction for a $5 Gold Piece at Danville, Nr North Carolina

'The gentleman in the back bids one arm. The is now one arm. Will anybody give me an arm and a leg.'

E-Baying @ The Moon

'Amazing what you can get on eBay.'

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

Sold! For £42,000 to the... No wait - it's the wrong way round!

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

Auctioneer: 'Sold to the lady whose husband just walked out!'

'Did you auction off our house on eBay?'

Last Chance for Everything.

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

"It's a forgery―and a recent one, too."

"It's called 'Sold'."

"I'm sorry, honey. I thought you'd be happy that your germ-ridden blanket was such a hit on eBay."

The Derby- Horse Auction at Tattersall's

"I got it from eBay."

I think you just paid £5000 for cricket box, not a box at the cricket.

"I got the cream, but the bulk of the old lady's estate is going to auction."

Titanic iceberg auction

The Battle of the Pictures.

Moderne Auction Today - This end up!

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

'Of course, some assembly is required. That's why my bid was so low.'

'Enough EBAY already!'

'Now, what am I bid for this original Ough?'

Leonardo da Vinci painting - $450 million record.

'That's a decent offer but if I wanted to sell my soul, I would put it up for bids.'

'It sold for how much!'

'Actually, I'm here just for the wine and cheese.'

"... $3 million, I have $3 million. Can I get $4 million? Yes, $4 million ..."

I brake for anything discarded that I can bring to the antiques roadshow.

'Now, a real collectable to bid on: a signed first edition of The First History of the World.'