Attention Span Explorers T-Shirts

'Son, your teacher told me that you're having trouble focusing and other things that I zoned out on...'

School for the Blind and School for the Inattentive.

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

A boy acting suspiciously

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

'Technically, I was making fun of your writing ability.'

"I'm trying to Google what I was thinking about twenty minutes ago!"

"He doesn’t say much, but he thinks a lot."

A baseball player is too busy checking his smartphone to catch a ball.

I read on Candorville.com that was rank 29,705th in the world when it comes to attention spans. What? Aren't there only 196 countries? The article didn't just include human countries. It included the various animal kingdoms and the plant republics. Did you know that Americans have an eight-second attention span ... but the goldfish who live in little Lionel Brown's aquarium kingdom at 1492 MLK Way in Candorville have a nine-second attention span? Are you sure you weren't reading a humor column?

"Honestly, I thought you were a metaphor."

'He has a very open mind. Everything goes in one ear and out the other.'

"It helps me stay focused."

"Are you one of these youngsters who has a very short attention span?"

"Let's get the important stuff out of the way while I'm still paying attention."

Pubertry

"I don’t know … there’s a small part of me that just wants to erase my childhood."

'I don't mind school, but I'm really tired of the commute.'

"My name is Proust. I've forgotten my room number."

'Whoa! Really? You offer a full refund on any engagement ring for up to two years?! Very cool!'

One person's word balloon goes in one ear and out the other of the other person's ears.

Science FAir. Vegetable Growth Rate. The winning entry studied how fast vegetables grow. "Clock the beet."

"Are you listening to me?"

Marcel Proust.

Cow and Pig leave for school.

'Sweet!' Boy sees a bin marked imaginary friends.

'At age 47, Thomas Edison tried to forget everything he knew, in an attempt to become a second Thomas Edison.'

'You didn't play 'Baby Einstein' tapes while Tyler was In Utero?'

'Thank you for calling the attention deficit disorder hotline. . . please continue to hold. . .'

Bumper Sticker Show Off.

Man, with his protective shell...

This should bring you back to your earliest childhood memories

"In conclusion, J.D. Salinger's 'The Catcher in the Rye' is a commentary on the injustices and problems of society, especially pertaining to the isolation of individuals."

"My teacher says to tell you I'm having trouble with my ears. Everything goes in one and out the other."

'If I'd known I was going to live 900 years, I'd never have opted for early retirement.'