Attention Span Analyst T-Shirts

"Are you listening to me?"

"I wish I knew. We've been working on it for years, but every time we think we're finished, the designers tell us it has to be shorter!"

'Technically, I was making fun of your writing ability.'

"I'm trying to Google what I was thinking about twenty minutes ago!"

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

"You be the moral grandstander and I'll be the politically incorrect troll."

"Yes, you have given 100% to this company. But, over the five years you've worked here that's only 20% a year."

A baseball player is too busy checking his smartphone to catch a ball.

"My System 1 tells me she's articulate, capable, shrewd. My System 2 says BIMBO."

"I plan on keeping this off my resume!"

"I'm leaving a little early as I wasn't in quite so late this morning."

'He has a very open mind. Everything goes in one ear and out the other.'

'We seem to have more luck getting people to accept cookies rather than broccoli when they visit websites.'

"It helps me stay focused."

"Let's get the important stuff out of the way while I'm still paying attention."

"Are you one of these youngsters who has a very short attention span?"

"He's so well behaved I'm really worried, doctor."

"People are crazy."

"I wanted to talk to the boss about the alarming sick leave level but ten minutes ago he called in sick..."

"You have a remarkable lack of curiosity about your co-workers."

Media Whore Raceway.

Freudian vs Behavior therapist.

'Son, your teacher told me that you're having trouble focusing and other things that I zoned out on...'

'Your attention span is not very long.'

"We assumed they were raised by wolves, but I'm beginning to believe they were raised by stray dogs."k Upload

One person's word balloon goes in one ear and out the other of the other person's ears.

Respect Zone: 'We respect yobs.'

"I agree, it's a real worry. We may have to consider limiting her screen time."

Sigmund Freud

"Today the American public at long last O.D.'d on Pee-wee Herman, briefly settled its attention on Bruce Willis, then finally decided to embrace an all-new, revitalized, state-of-the-art Richard Nixon."

Silent Body Language

Baby on ultrasound scan gazes at mobile phone

"My teacher noticed you weren't at parent-teacher night . She wanted to ask why I never take an interest in anything."

'Dad, I have commissioned my buddy to study your behavior patterns.'

"Even this wouldn't have been enough to keep the youth from their smartphones."