Attention Ace Pillows

Try to hold your audience's attention when giving a presentation.

Lethal Presentation

Nerd tryouts.

"I appreciate your devices that make it seem like you're paying attention, but could you actually pay attention and make eye contact so I know you are?"

Failure/Due Diligence

Look At Me I'm Still Wearing Shorts.

Hair Traffic control.

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth.'

When Managers have a Four Seasons pizza.

'Okay... now everyone smile and say: 'that;s not deductible'.'

"And that is how you handle liver!"

'The cannon will go off every 20 minutes just to make sure you're paying attention,'

Cartoon Editor: No, No, No, No, No, No, Maybe.

'I spent today with out spindoctor, and boy, am I dizzy.'

"Knowing two languages is sure handy when telemarketers call."

"Never forget he's a wild animal."

Media Whore Raceway.

"Timmy, thank you for your science report..."Yawning is Contagious.'"

'What was your entry, 'Rob Peter to Pay Paul all about?'

Tax - Random Audit

'Teacher says I don't pay attention, I have no retention but I'm great at detention.'

'Your attention span is not very long.'

Politician with lots of address books

'You think you have a hard life? -- I have to listen to crazy people every day!'

'Supervisor of the Year'

"I'd love to meet up, but my calendar is a jam-packed with squares and sequential numbers."

"The numbers don't lie, but we can fix that."

'It appears that your son's problems stem from attention deficit disorder.'

Accountant to man: 'I can get you a rapid refund ... and an even quicker audit.'

'Spend all morning on a cryptorchidectomy...'

'Ferguson always was an overachiever.'

"And as we study this list, one thing is clear... my wife is doing groceries with my sales report."

"My super powers are listening and downsizing my life."

Training for Emergency Broadcast System workers

I'd like to investigate your tax return!