Attention Ace Pillows

Try to hold your audience's attention when giving a presentation.

Lethal Presentation

"I appreciate your devices that make it seem like you're paying attention, but could you actually pay attention and make eye contact so I know you are?"

Nerd tryouts.

Failure/Due Diligence

Look At Me I'm Still Wearing Shorts.

Hair Traffic control.

When Managers have a Four Seasons pizza.

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth.'

'Okay... now everyone smile and say: 'that;s not deductible'.'

"And that is how you handle liver!"

'The cannon will go off every 20 minutes just to make sure you're paying attention,'

Cartoon Editor: No, No, No, No, No, No, Maybe.

'I spent today with out spindoctor, and boy, am I dizzy.'

"Knowing two languages is sure handy when telemarketers call."

"Timmy, thank you for your science report..."Yawning is Contagious.'"

Media Whore Raceway.

"Never forget he's a wild animal."

'What was your entry, 'Rob Peter to Pay Paul all about?'

'Teacher says I don't pay attention, I have no retention but I'm great at detention.'

Tax - Random Audit

'Your attention span is not very long.'

Politician with lots of address books

"I'd love to meet up, but my calendar is a jam-packed with squares and sequential numbers."

'You think you have a hard life? -- I have to listen to crazy people every day!'

'Supervisor of the Year'

"The numbers don't lie, but we can fix that."

'It appears that your son's problems stem from attention deficit disorder.'

Accountant to man: 'I can get you a rapid refund ... and an even quicker audit.'

"And as we study this list, one thing is clear... my wife is doing groceries with my sales report."

Training for Emergency Broadcast System workers

"My super powers are listening and downsizing my life."

'Spend all morning on a cryptorchidectomy...'

You're on, caller. What's your problem? My baby won't stop crying. How do I get her to stop? What do you mean, "get her to stop"? Your baby's a human being and she already has things she wants to tell you. Crying is the only language she knows. Just hold her, tell her "I hear you" ... ... AND GROW A THICKER SKIN! BABY TEARS AREN'T LITTLE GRENADES, LOSER! I wish she'd just text me like everyone else.

I'd like to investigate your tax return!