Attending Rallies Pillows

Can I ask you a question, man-to-man? Sure, little buddy. How come you were at the women's march? Was it to pick up women? Of course not. Then why were you doused in cologne and your mustache was combed, and you had on your tightest jeans, and your chest hairs were coiffed and glistening? There's a difference between being there to pick up women, and being there not to not pick up women. I see. I think.

Sloaney Pony.

"Away with the warmonger!"

"I want to dispel the rumor that this redistricting map was drawn by my toddler on an Etch-A-Sketch. . .I'd never met that toddler before."

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

"Please hold applause until end of dragon."

"Those MORONS! I have way more chest hair than THAT! Ha!"

'Is our tent getting smaller, or are we fat cats just getting fatter?'

'He hasn't missed a turnout in ten years!'

I am your BIGGEST fan!

"How much longer, roughly, will you be introducing me as a 'disgruntled Republican'?"

"Look! It's the Montgomerys from the breast-cancer walk."

"At least we've got a nice day for it..!"

"You've got to blurb me to her."

"Ok, no more political arguments, you know I'm on the left."

'I know how worked up everyone is, but let's keep the bird calls to a minimum.'

'On the Internet we found weapons of mass intrusion.'

'I don't know -- maybe an evil robot from the future IS the kind of President we need.'

Hillary Clinton

"Say, isn't that Rudy Giuliani?"

Holy Moses!

TRUMP

'It was a very friendly reception - the Democrats even registered me to vote!'

"Any apologies for absence?"

A right of privacy party.

Courage

"Well, because today is Friday the 13th."

'Why do rally drivers think they are the only ones on the road?'

Occupy the Rose Parade

'I told you not to let the children play with your Tony Blair effigy.'

The rally driver's breakfast

'It was a very friendly reception - the Democrats even registered me to vote!'

"Hold yer fire! It's just a t-shirt cannon!"

'We both like walking in the rain, and we both love a parade, but I just can't stand it when she rains on my parade.'

'If re-elected, I promise to do everything in my power to avoid prison!'