Attending Pub Events Gifts

UK bid to hold p***-up in a brewery championship fails.

"This place has the best happy hour."

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

Beers

Best Before 5th Pint.

'Here comes your own personal weekly beer supply, Joe!'

'You shouldn't knock them back so quickly.'

You said you wanted beer with hops !

'Looks like a good day fah haulin' lobstah, eh, Pauley?...Let's just say it became a good day fah drinkin'...'

Buy one beer, get one free. If I may paraphrase a famous quote, "Beer is proof that God has mixed feelings about us and wants us to be hungover."

'That's her second pitcher and she doesn't even like beer - I guess she just likes to pee.'

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

'All right!! Bull's-eye!'

"It's from the local micro brewery..."

"I'm off, I only popped in for a swift three units."

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

Goldie Locks and the three beers.

'At least they can't touch the village local' say two country gents. The pub now has a sign on the window saying 'This is now a smoke free pub, also no dogs or horsey types!'

Zoo Society Costume Party. Lot's of people had the same idea --- We're surrounded by fake gnus.

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

"Leave it you guys! We have this EVERY-SINGLE-TIME we go anywhere!!"

'He was a barman before he got into the demolition game.'

Pub. This is John. He also loves obscure bands until they're popular then hates them. The Druidiots. Luckies. 50 ale.

'I don't like her line of gossip - it's never about anyone I know.'

"They call me the king of railroad salvage - 'they' being my wife, actually."

To tell you the truth, I find it hard to be sympathetic for the plight of the beer vampire.

"I'm thinking of turning green..."

'Doesn't seem right somehow-REAL ale in PLASTIC glasses!'

Real Beer People

"Oh, my, I can tell—everybody in there has read Barbara Tuchman."

'Just too many choices.'

'Bitter.' 'Anything else?' 'Yea - twisted.'

"Is it horny in here, or is it just me?"