Atomic Attention Span Pillows

Bookworm misses the nuclear explosion behind him.

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

Look At Me I'm Still Wearing Shorts.

'Technically, I was making fun of your writing ability.'

"I'm trying to Google what I was thinking about twenty minutes ago!"

A baseball player is too busy checking his smartphone to catch a ball.

I read on Candorville.com that was rank 29,705th in the world when it comes to attention spans. What? Aren't there only 196 countries? The article didn't just include human countries. It included the various animal kingdoms and the plant republics. Did you know that Americans have an eight-second attention span ... but the goldfish who live in little Lionel Brown's aquarium kingdom at 1492 MLK Way in Candorville have a nine-second attention span? Are you sure you weren't reading a humor column?

'He has a very open mind. Everything goes in one ear and out the other.'

"It helps me stay focused."

"Are you one of these youngsters who has a very short attention span?"

"Let's get the important stuff out of the way while I'm still paying attention."

A group of people in an art gallery staring at a phone

"...9...8...7...6...5...4...3..."

'Son, your teacher told me that you're having trouble focusing and other things that I zoned out on...'

'Let's see, Schneebart — you'd better work on weak nuclear reactions.'

One person's word balloon goes in one ear and out the other of the other person's ears.

"Are you listening to me?"

A sign at a nuclear power plant - 'In case of emergency run!'

Protons, neutrons, electrons, and morons.

"Your challenge is to present our complex project to people that have an 11 second attention span."

I'm a nuclear physicist.

'Rest assured we are taking all the necessary measures to avoid any radioactive contamination.'

School for the Blind and School for the Inattentive.

Atom Supply Co.

"In conclusion, J.D. Salinger's 'The Catcher in the Rye' is a commentary on the injustices and problems of society, especially pertaining to the isolation of individuals."

'Thank you for calling the attention deficit disorder hotline. . . please continue to hold. . .'

Nobody takes me seriously.

"My teacher says to tell you I'm having trouble with my ears. Everything goes in one and out the other."

'It's about your son's low attention span,,,'

"I pretend to pay attention by putting my face in screensaver mode."

"The hardest thing about being a youth pastor is keeping my sermons to 140 characters or less."

Carbon Dating - 'Now let me see, we can do a one night stand with 2 oxygens, a long weekend with 4 hydrogens or a same sex carbon orgy.'

"Sir, I'm afraid we're having a meltdown."

Modern Attention Spans

Running coast to coast for attention.