Atom Splitters T-Shirts

"Don't overdo it, dear."

'I pledge allegiance to the atom, and to the periodic table on which it stands, many particles indivisible, with orbitals and electrons for all.'

Micro Psychiatry Clinic. You have a full schedule today, Doctor. The helium atom will be here to work on his fear of heights. The white blood cell with a germ phobia and amoeba with separation anxiety are coming in. The DNA molecule will be here about an identity crisis. And here, in the sports car, comes a new patient, a carbon-14 isotope. Ah, looks like he's going through a half-life crisis!

Plan to Split California into Six States Proposed....

Lots of personal improvement classes are going on down there. The white blood cells are teaching a self-defense class. The neuron is instructing others about improving communication skills. And a proton and cornea cell have teamed up to teach a class on staying focused and positive! Is the helium atom participating in any of this? No, he thinks he's above it all!

I think he knows something that we don't know about the uranium molecule.

'There must be some way we can capitalize on that damn boson.'

'I was working on developing anti-matter under laboratory conditions, but I couldn't find anything to keep it in.'

Greatly enlarged view of newly discovered particle.

The Human Condition

Sir Earnest Rutherford splits the opium.

'Do you promise to brush up on such matters as the Large Hadron Collider?'

'The great thing about string theory is that it ties up quite a few loose ends.'

The mysterious world of ligand substitution

...Isolated clumps of strange matter pop briefly out of the quantum foam to debate the possible existence of particle physicists.

Large Hadron Colliider-scope

The loneliness of the particle physicist...'Everyone's interested in things that are much, much larger.'

Quantum Mechanics Mechanics working on Atoms

The curse of Alzheimer's hits home for old aluminium atoms.

'Hot enough for ya?'

"Because of the war can we split this?"

Two particles outside Hadron Collider; 'Fancy getting smashed this evening?'

Nuclear Confusion

Woodworkers Club Meeting, Room 23. Splinter Group, Room 24.

Dumbistan

Compound Interest

Our shock absorbers give such a smooth ride that the professor here will try to split an atom in the back of a moving pick up truck.

'What's the matter with your cyclotron?'

James Chadwick

Joe's Bar: "Forget Her" Hour, 5-8.

Mover Carrying Furniture to Trucks Saying "His" and "Hers"

'...Okay...so who had the thirteen bottles of Chardonnay?'

'. . . And Keith magically had to go to the bathroom right when the bill arrives. . . why do I always have to pay the lion's share?'

'...and nothing you can say will make me change my mind.'

Mutual breakup.