Athletic Wear Pillows

'I like to stay fit. Or at least wear a lot of lycra.'

Tennis

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

Venn Diagram: DIamonds

'Top of the line sport shoes: They've improved my top speed by 0.5 kmh...'

'You mean that I have to carry them to my car?'

'Ironically, sportswear is the most comfortable clothing for doing nothing in.'

'Actually, I was hoping for oversized with a graphite shaft'

'OK. Sometimes, after games, when I'm all alone? I... I like to dress up in a NBA uniform.'

'Oh great, now I broke a nail.'

'No doubt about it... serves are MUCH faster these days!'

'Hello Biggo Sports Supply? About those bats I ordered.....'

'Trouble is, I only want to wear them for cycling to work.'

Designer Shoe Dwellers

"And that's why I avoid moisture-wicking sportswear."

'Your son's sneakers called.'

"...and, as well as your salary, you will be eligible for company transport - a pair of our latest running shoes."

Chav a Merry Christmas

Ladies in Lycra

'The sport's still a mystery to me. I just found out that I look great in uniform.'

Mixing Baseball and Football

Oops

'They're for a friend.'

A ball's best case scenario.

"You can tell by the footprint... those are expensive running shoes!"

Foam Finger Envy

'This is our new camouflage hat.'

"Despite what you read on social media, no, I'm not required by law to wear a jockstrap."

Speed Dating: 'I don't think it matters how streamlined you are.'

'I don't care if your parents can't afford proper ones,you're not boxing in oven gloves!'

"Oh no, sweetie. I don't play. I just want to look like I do."

'I'm better than you and you.'

'I like this one, but do you have it with the peak at the back?'

'Got any other form of ID?'