Athletic Spouse Pillows

"I see marriage as a verb, he sees it as a triathlon."

'This one's for marrying him, and this one's for raising the kids.'

'Still having problems finding a baby sitter?'

'She deserves it since she's raised our three kids with me overseas.'

"Have I ever told you how sexy you look when you sit through overtime?"

"Am I through to the next round?"

"How do you expect him to grow up to be a pro if he doesn't start young?"

"That's for staying married for thirty-five years to a difficult woman."

The Colonel reading Clive's letters to the ladies of the regiment.

'As your doctor, I'd strongly advise that you not laugh at your wife when you beat her at tennis!'

"I don’t know what it is, but every time the Bruins win, I love you more and more!"

"Hey! I know that handwriting, St Valentines day last year!!!"

"I just knew there had to be a better use for tomatoes than making boring old sandwiches."

Baby Footballer

"I told you I wouldn't be any good at this game. Look, I've gone and hit the ball down one of those little holes again."

Wedding cake figurines has a husband playing a video game.

'The game went into extra innings.'

Exercises

"Benjamin, we've discovered, is quite gifted at third base."

"It's just that they usually ask for their ASHES to be scattered!"

"Dr. Behan?! Congratulations! It's a Boy!!!"

'Wow! Feel that kick! I'm buying him a football for his first birthday!'

"Give me a sporting chance, love ... pass me my wicket-keeping gloves."

A woman in her underwear slam dunks hearts into a basketball hoop.

Hanging up the husband

Things Your Mother Would Never Let You Do Olympic Games

"Yeah, we renewed our vows--his vow of silence and my vow of abstinence."

"So how was the Edgar Willoughby Classic?"

Another Rugby Star is Born.

"Harold! You promised!"

'You remember my husband, Geoff. He represented you in that messy divorce settlement of ours.'

The summertime sport

Too many coxes.

'My wife is out of town. That's the diet cam.'

"He needs more exercise. I recommend a team sport like hockey. He'd make a good goalie."