Athletic Dynamos Gifts

Tour de France champ Fausto Coppi

CEO with SEO

Cossack dancers

"If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to far, go together." - African proverb.

Considering she started here as an office temp she's done quite well.

"Quick! The ideas are hatching!"

'She's in training.'

Engineer on the move.

Boxes marked 'In', 'Out' and 'How did this end up on my desk?'

"Before we decide that SEO is dead, can someone tell me what SEO is?"

GPs could be forced to switch IT systems onto new NHS digital contract

"Intern? Oh, no. He wandered in from our day care center."

Computer tycoon, 'It's that nerd-do-well from next door,'

"We'll have to eat out tonight - I misplaced the can opener."

Produce Academy. The lemons were all sent to detention again today? Yeah, they're always tarty.

"Unfortunately your Twitter has been hacked. Fortunately it has been hacked by someone much cooler and funnier than you."

The auto-update demons attack-again."

Man with Ironing burns on shirt - "How are things going at home Robert?"

"What's wrong, hon? You haven't touched my food."

Bebaaaaaaaop! (sheep)

'It's hard to believe that at home, she's a mommy.'

Sports Agency. In my work as a sports agent, I told this athlete she needs to improve if she wants to be well-known. Ironically, in diving you become famous by not making a splash! I got this marathon competitor a sponsorship so he can focus on training. He's going to take the money and run! This sprinter will earn a bonus if he sets a record. Oh, going after some fast money! And I made this guy agree to give me an extra slice of his pay if I negotiated a great contract for him which I di

"A toothbrush with a DVD player?" "Yeah, now she brushes for half an hour."

Politically Correct Dictionaries

I have a weak case, so I thought I'd use big word balloons.

'After scraping my tongue, flossing my teeth, brushing my teeth, whitening my teeth and gargling, I'm hungry all over again!'

Now that the last child had finally left for college, Dot and Neville went through the usual 'empty nest' grieving process.

'Rabbit stew again?' ( MAGICIANS HAT ON STOVE)

"Look, I'm really having trouble with my computer. I need it to work and I need it now...and your fancy schmancy jargon isn't helping much."

"I haven't written anything yet, but I'm looking for someone to ghostwrite my book 'how to delegate.'"

My name's Troy, and I'll be your serve tonight. My name's Fred and I'll be talking way too loudly about my colon. I'm still learning my name, and I'll be screaming for no good reason.

Two dancers in bejeweled suits and flat caps

'I'm afraid your daughter has a severe case of texter's neck and I see some serious tweeter's thumbs developing, as well!'

"You keep telling me to back up my computer. Well, I can't back it up anymore. It's all the way back to the wall."

The Takeaway.